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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies going for someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your choice to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and often mundane turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {